Divorce may be difficult emotionally, but that may pale in comparison to the financial devastation it can carry. Estimates provided by the Huffington Post suggest...
Read MoreIf you have just found out that your spouse has contacted an attorney, it is perfectly reasonable to be nervous. You may fear the worst—“oh no, my spouse is going to take me for everything I’m worth.” Or, “my spouse is going to get full custody of the kids and I will be relegated to being the weekend parent.” The first thing you need to do it TAKE A BREATH. Not every divorce is contentious. That said, you need to consult with your own attorney to make sure you are taking all of the necessary actions to increase your likelihood of getting what you want out of the divorce.
How to find your attorney:
Once you have found your attorney, you need to prepare yourself for your divorce. Emotionally, you will want to gather a strong group of friends and family who can support you during this difficult time (also known as, your “village”). You will need your village not just as a shoulder to cry on but also to help you with some practical aspects of day-to day living, such as helping carpool your kids, volunteering to babysit if you need to meet with your attorney, etc.
You also need to get an accurate picture of where you stand financially. One of the primary goals of divorce is to make an equitable distribution of marital assets and debts. In order to get your fair share, you need to understand your finances beforehand. This process requires that you determine what you own and what you owe. You need to then determine what is marital property and what is separate property.
Marital property refers generally to all of the property acquired by either or both spouses during the course of the marriage. So, for example, the wages you earned at work that you put into a joint bank account and used to pay household bills would be considered marital property. Similarly, if you bought a car prior to the marriage but then used marital funds to pay for repairs, the car would be considered marital property.
In contrast, separate property belongs only to one spouse. The most common forms of separate property include property owned by one spouse prior to the marriage, gifts received by a spouse prior to or during a marriage, inheritances or gifts received by one spouse before or during the marriage and property that the spouses agree is separate (spouses often do this via a pre-nup or post-nup).
You and your attorney will work together to determine your proof of income, come up with parenting plan proposals and propose an equitable distribution of the marital assets and debts. In a divorce in which both parties are cooperative, this process can be relatively easy. However, in antagonistic divorces, parties usually end up in court and could potentially be fighting over the value of a stamp collection for years.
If you find out your spouse is talking to a divorce attorney, do not jump to the worst-case scenario. Try to talk to your spouse and determine if the split is going to be amicable or acrimonious. By doing so, you can determine what type of attorney you need to hire and prepare yourself for what lies ahead.
Divorce may be difficult emotionally, but that may pale in comparison to the financial devastation it can carry. Estimates provided by the Huffington Post suggest...
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