A divorce is not merely a division of assets and debts.  In some situations, it Is also a division of friends.  Maybe you remain friends with all your friends from work, whereas your ex maintains all of the male friendships.  It isn’t as if you can just go to school to make new friends.  So how do you make friends post-divorce?  Here are the top 10 ways to make friends after your divorce:

Workout buddies:  If you go to a gym already, try to casually strike up a conversation with the lady on the woman next to you.  If you don’t go to a gym or workout, now is the perfect time to start.  Joining a class that requires some cooperation and teamwork (crossfit or boxing) can help break the ice immediately.

Go to a meetup:  Meetups were created for expressly this purpose—to enable people with similar interests to “meetup” and get to know others.  From wine appreciation to bird watching to antiquing, there is a group to interest you.  Whatever your interest, it is likely there is a meet up in your area to connect people.

Make a friend at work:  If you are one of those people who avoids after-work socializing, bite the bullet and attend (at least a few times).  Sometimes just showing up turns into a friendship.

Play dates:  Now is the perfect time to use your kids.  Think of it as a three-for-one.  You are giving your child the benefit of socializing, you are keeping your child occupied and you are finding a potential friend.  If you have nothing else to talk about, just discuss your kids.  It’s amazing how far bonding over picky eating and nap time can go.

Volunteer:  Post-divorce is an ideal time to get involved in the world of volunteering.  Giving back to others makes you feel less sorry for yourself and this may be the perfect way to get out of your one-person pity party.  Find a cause that you truly care about and you are more likely to find kind people who care about causes similar to yourself.

Professional Network Events:  Just like with playdates, attending professional network events can kill two birds with one stone.  Conferences that last several days are particularly good for making new friends, because they effectively take busy people out of their normal routine, and this leaves space for new relationships to form. 

Go to festivals:  Festivals, especially ethnic ones where people sit at the same table, are a great way to meet new people.  When food and people collide, the mood is usually light and happy.  There are arts festivals, music themed ones, food themed ones, etc. across the country.

Get involved at your child’s school:  By volunteering or even just attending PTA meetings at your child’s school, you meet other parents and are usually involved in projects where you have to work together.  You sometimes meet over coffee to discuss the school auction or some other fundraiser.  You have two things in common off the bat—you are a parent and you have a child at the same school—so the ice is already broken.

Give your married friends a chance:  Don’t completely give up on your married friends.  Ask them to meet you for dinner or drinks or a cup of morning coffee.  Even if they can’t attend a nighttime event, invite them to an activity that they can bring their kids to.  Just because they may need more notice and may be more limited than your single friends doesn’t mean you should give up on that friendship.

Fly solo:  Going out alone for the first time after your divorce can be terrifying.  You may have grown comfortable to the idea of always having a companion with you.  But go ahead and try it!  You open yourselves up to meeting friends of both sexes and you will gain valuable confidence for the next time you venture out.